According to the 2015 State of Mental Health in America report 44 Million Americans have a mental health condition. I am one of those 44 million. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and went years without proper diagnosis. Once I finally was diagnosed (around 2010), it took a long time to understand what was wrong. And it took even longer to accept the fact that it wasn’t anything I was doing - my brain is not functioning properly and never will. But that’s okay!
In 2017 I tried to live a life without medication simply because I just didn’t want to rely on medication to make me feel normal. And it was a really rough year! It didn’t hit me that I really needed some help, until my fiancé came to me in tears saying “you are NEVER happy”. I did a lot of soul searching after that conversation and realized everything she was saying was true. Honestly I was miserable. After many months of suffering, break downs, and many days and nights filled with endless tears and anger it was time to talk to a doctor about what I was feeling. I knew it was time to revisit adding medication into my life. It took me eight years to finally accept my brain and mental illnesses for what they are - an illness, not something I can just get over by myself. Just like you would treat an infection with an antibiotic, my brain needs to be treated with care to feel better. It just so happens that the care my brain requires is medication. And you know what?! Thats okay! I am Elisa, I am perfectly imperfect living with anxiety and depression.